Hi! I’m Red Panda, a freelance artist from the Netherlands.

My real name is Tiamo Pastoor. I was born in 1997 and I don’t have any good pictures of myself.

This page could list all my achievements and praise me into the heavens … but that’s just not who I am.

I care about honesty, activity and kindness.

As such, the content of this page is completely honest. To understand me, you need to understand just one thing.

I have lost the ability to enjoy or want things. So, what do you do? I’ve learned to keep myself active at all times and focus on the one thing that can still get me excited: creating stuff.

You can’t enjoy things?

Yes, it’s that simple. I’m not motivated by money, or food, or whatever goal. I’m not happy when I go to bed, nor am I happy when I wake up. I’ve just lost the sense of wanting something or enjoying it.

Why we’re in this situation isn’t that important. Yes, I’ve visited many specialists for years, who all said the same thing. I’m already doing all the right things (staying active, staying positive) and they hope that the feeling returns at some point.

That’s how I “solve” the situation. I am always doing something. I just create, create, create. Trying to capture the tiny spark that is left, trying to create whatever innovative projects I can.

That is all I care about. I don’t care for money, fame or status. I pick quantity over quality, though I also know that quantity leads to quality. I just want to create, create, create until I can’t anymore.

To see a group of people enjoy a game I invented? To hear somebody excited about a book of mine? To invent new ideas, which prompt others to get inspired and innovate as well? That is, perhaps, the only thing that could still make me happy.


Why does “creating stuff” still make me happy? I guess the answer is simply that I’m a hypercreative person. At heart, since birth.

If I can’t invent, if I can’t create, it feels like dying inside. The only thing that gets me out of bed is the possibility of creating something new that day. Something that didn’t exist before. A game that provides a new way to have fun together. A story that has the best plot twist ever.

That’s also why I’m drawn to crazy, innovative projects. Which, honestly, only work out half the time.

What are the consequences?

Well, I think everything I make is shit. You won’t hear any positive comments from me about my own work. I just create it, finish it, then give it to others to (maybe) enjoy.

I am always honest and won’t let emotions guide me. I won’t pretend something excites me, because it doesn’t! If I catch somebody being dishonest, I am gone. I will do the thing that has the best arguments supporting it, not the thing the person with the most power tries to force on me.

Losing my ability to want things for myself also allows me to focus on doing what I believe is “right”. I’m not an activist by any means. In fact, you’ll barely hear from me on any touchy subjects—because I couldn’t be bothered! I just try to constantly make decisions that are kind and are, rationally, the better option.

It also means I can’t be motivated to do something that isn’t creative, innovative or smart, just by saying “but it’s less risky” or “it makes more money”.

I actually have a degree in Applied Mathematics. But I won’t ever use it just to get a “steady job” that would kill me inside. I could pump out clones of mobile games, or risk-free romance novels, but I’ll never do it.

The biggest consequence

Most of all? When you’ve seen the filth of the world and been stripped down until nothing’s left, you realize what truly matters.

Just be kind.

And do something every day.

The purpose of life is simply to live it and help others live it. So just do something every day and don’t let your ego destroy the ability of others to enjoy their day. Fail faster. Make more mistakes and you’ll grow faster.

The size of this portfolio isn’t to gloat or to impress. As you now know, I truly don’t care. It’s simply to show this philosophy and the only way I can see my life. It’s to keep order and structure in my chaotic mess of creative endeavors.

Who I am

Finally, let’s end on a fun note by giving some details about myself.

I’m a hugger. My taste buds, unfortunately, prefer unhealthy food and anything that is not the typical Dutch cuisine.

Chronic health issues force me to exercise a lot. But that’s fine, because that allows me to eat more calories ;)

A consequence of so much physical activity is that I also sleep a lot.

This means my days are rather short. I just don’t have a lot of hours for work, which means I have to make them count. When I work, I work! My smartphone is off. My Wi-Fi is probably off. I only check my messages or email once a day.

I’m pretty old-school. I don’t multitask, I have an old and broken computer with just one thing open at a time, and I still do a lot through handwritten notes. Even though I grew up with internet and smartphones, I never fully embraced the parts of it that I deem useless or evil.

So yes, I’m the silly person who leaves his home without his smartphone. I’m the clueless person who only learns about major gossip a week later … because somebody happens to tell me in-person. I’m the boring person who says things like “I’ve already stared at a screen for five hours, I’m not going to look at one any longer”.

I’m also the person who makes time for others, is fully in the moment, and can make creative magic happen if you give me some time.

My other websites

To keep things clean and simple, I’ve created separate websites for each of my major artistic areas. This portfolio you’re reading is just an overview of everything. The actual website of the project will always contain all the information, updates, downloads, comments, etcetera.

Visit them using the links below.